I honestly don’t know where to start. I’m not good with words. I can’t express what I feel, I can’t say it in a deep way and I can’t make it sound beautiful. I’m trying to write something here because today is a special day but more than that, I’m trying to write this because you are special to me.
These past days I’ve been trying to draw you and now that the drawing is done, I just want to rip it. After I drew it the only thing that I could think was “It’s not perfect. It’s not enough” and why? Because something that is for you should be perfect, even though I’m not able to do that. I just wish I had practiced more so I could do something better for you. Maybe this is a silly thought since you won’t even see it, but it doesn’t make the feeling disappear. I just want to do the perfect thing for you.
It’s hard to say how important you are. There is simply no words to describe it. I often say things to you like “I hate you” or “stupid Jongie” but I honestly couldn’t say them with more love. You are such a wonderful creature. You make me smile so many times. You are an inspiration, a star in the sky. You are so much more than your voice or your looks. I can’t say perfectly how you are, after all I’m still a young girl that doesn’t even know how she is. But after all this time, everything that I’ve seen from you made me proud. I have proud on you and I admire you as a person.
From today onwards I just want you to be happy. Just that. You deserve everything. You have been fighting during your whole life. Now fight but never lose your smile. And never say sorry to us again. You have never hurted us. Rather than that you brought us joy and made us stronger. At least to me you did. You did more to me than I did to you. Thank you. Thank you for everything. I’ll always be here supporting you with all the strenght that I have. I love you Jongie ♥
Kim Jonghyun, Happy Birthday